I was a nervous wreck picking her up. But when I saw her everything returned to focus and became ordered. I had my lovely wife back. I was happy. I know it sounds simple now. But, looking back, I was happy. That my happy moment, ma.

The ride home was a six-cylinder glide.  I mean we were in the beautiful Suburban 2001 silver gray with a beautiful glide down the Ventura freeway.  And it was all free except for the gas, which was expensive, but which we could afford. We were big time people out here in LA LA Land. Yeah, right. We felt special, but everyone should. I don’t know, honey, I’m so happy to have you here with me. I missed you.   

“Hey, kid. . .” I reached across, drew her face to mine, and kissed her. “I missed you. We all did.” I was just really glad to see her.

“Me too,” she said. “I feel great.” She took my hand and our fingers interlocked. “It’s all about dopamine and serotonin and controlling your brain chemicals, Daddy.” 

“Cool, hon.”

Oh know, do you see your big mistake, dad? It wasn’t cool. You were so clueless. You fool. You didn’t get it. Oh quit accusing me.

I did what any dumb love-struck animal does when he is happy to see his mate has returned to their den. I kissed her and told her, “Let’s take a Jacuzzi” when we pulled into the driveway. Hey, all right, I wanted flesh against flesh. She was my wife. I didn’t see what I should have. I just had her in hand. I felt those curves above her hips, and her lips, which were thick.  I turned away. I had her just like we always remembered. “Sure.”

“Come on, honey. It’s all about love isn’t it, darling?”

I ran out and opened the door for her, and all the kids came up and hugged her and she stepped out and hugged them, the flock, the center of the home and all that gothic corny stuff you grow up on while you munch potato chips fried in lard. Sean laid his head on her breast and looked up at me and smiled. “Hey, very cool,” I said. Henry with hazel eyes and blond locks crowded around mom and she petted their heads; they were her darling cuddly pups. They hunkered up close, what I came to call huckling (after something John Lee Hooker once sang, “Let’s huckle up,” least that is what I think he sang, you never know), and they all gathered around mom.

“Hi mommy,” Shauna shouted almost too loudly. 

Oh how we missed you, mommy!

“How do you feel, mommy? Did you quit smoking, mommy?” she asked, tugging at her mom’s emerald green blouse, her mom’s earrings dangling, her lips opening, her hand tapping her blond daughter’s head.

“Good to have you back, mom,” Henry said.

“He’s so grown up,” she said. 

Do you remember those words, honey?

“So far so good,” she said.

I was beaming with happiness, and she was too. 

Now I feel like a fool for being so happy. Was I a fool for being happy?

Later that night when we were alone, finally, we went in the blue-lit spa beneath the tea trees.   Pellegrino was all she drank. The cold air hit the hot bubbling water, and it felt better to be almost all under, except she did not try to push me under. 

Life was almost effortless, including the sex, now with her. That night was the ultimate high. No smokes, no beer, just sparkling water.   Lots of lovemaking. I remember the Jacuzzi was steaming and she was drinking the water.

“Honey, I need you to see the video they gave me. It’s important.”

Like I said, the first few days were great. 

Excellent. 

 

But, God, I never watched it. 

I never knew what had been done until it was way too late. I never knew about the pharmaceutical brain surgery that docs routinely perform. 

Even if I had known it isn’t as if I could have done something. I was powerless against this enemy. 

I just did not know that everything was set. 

I was too busy holding Tiffany beside me in the cool swirling blue turquoise backlit waters of our stone Jacuzzi.